Personal: The hurt will hurt unless you face it that it hurts

8:54:00 PM

I wanted to draw the line, and I felt that was excruciating.  I wonder at the idea of how did things did not worked. I thought facing the truth head on will shed light. But brokenness went in and I have no clear back up on how to navigate in the crazy turns.

I felt hope flew, telling me to let go.

I wanted to retreat, to go back to the comforts of my own walls, plastered with goals not with pictures of the memories that cut through my melancholic soul.

I wanted reprieve.

I needed saving from the insanity that these feelings are causing me.

I’m lost in the familiarity of things.

I’m lost in the memories that I wished to continue.

I’m lost in these memories that I longed to be repeated.

I’m looking for my sanity in places that are so familiar to me.

And it hit me; to move forward is to acknowledge the effects of the action.

It was never I thought it would be.

The hurt will hurt unless you face it that it hurts. Painful, it is. And that is the point where you draw the line. 

You pick up pieces of yourself and patch it. Sew it together with wallpapers filled with memories that you thought are but otherwise.

I will never be the strong person I wanted to be, not now, but soon.

I’m painting that line now.

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